BB飞的猫窝

很多人问我谁是Coke，其实我也不认识Coke，但是我知道她一定是一个很好的女生。

 

认识Coke最初是在股板，人无聊的时候总是要找些东西做做，于是当初毕业后还没有开始工作的我就喜欢上了上股板，特别喜欢Coke的分析，很认真地把Coke的所有post都帖在word文档里，于是有了Coke语录。

 

后来有一次买了GFIG，我是那种既不技术分析也不基本分析，全凭感觉的无头“股民”。买的时候仅仅因为看了Coke的一篇分析就进去了，后来感觉不对，完全像个无头苍蝇，后来抓住最后一线希望，发信给Coke，希望她指导指导。其实我从来没有期望Coke会回我的信，毕竟在股板，她是个前呼后拥的大人物，像我这么Personal的问题，估计她每天都回收到超过一百封的邮件。可是我还是很意外地收到了她的回复。她肯定自己的分析，并且建议我观望。后来一个星期，GFIG一落千丈，我因为很忙，没有时间跟盘，也没有时间上bbs看大家的评论，也就让它一直搁下了。毕竟我买股票不是为了赚钱是为了kill time。一个多月后，我再次登陆自己帐号的时候居然看到Coke的一封邮件，就是在那个一落千丈的星期，她发邮件和我说她觉得自己之前的分析不够准确，就当是的形势，她建议我清仓。虽然我看到这封邮件太迟，但是我还是很感激Coke mm的回复，她的聪慧，她的真诚让我重拾了很多对生活的信心。

 

但是很久以来，有一件事情我一直无法释怀的是，像Coke这么好的女生居然还是“剩女”，有时不得不感叹生命的不公。今天终于看到Coke mm engagement的消息，真的很为她高兴！希望那是一个懂得珍惜她，值得她爱的人！我相信是的，因为Coke是这样好的女生，她应该拥有属于自己的幸福！

I heard this book "The Joy Luck Club" since I was in my sophermore year. I still could clearly remember Gina introduced this book to us in our English class and proundly mentioned that she had met the author Amy Tan in Berkerly. After so many years, I finally got the book and with Nead Nead's encouragement, I made up my mind to devote my spare time in reading instead of depressing.

 

The first chapter just brought me to tears. It's about the origin of joy luck club, about people's good wishes and seize for hope during war time. One sentense really touches me is "... men, women, and children who had never lost hope, but had lost their lives instead." However,  in the modern society especiallly under this economic conditions, most of us had never lost our lives, but had lost our hopes. Were we foolish? Should we feel ashame in front of those unlucky people in the war time? When I reflect myself, I always ask where I began to lose my faith, lose my hope. "Along the way (escape from Japanese's slaughter), I saw others had done the same, gradually given up hope. It was like a pathway inlaid with treasures that grew in value along the way... silver urns lying in the road, where people had been too tired to carry them for any kind of future hope..." Do we also do the exact same thing even in a non-war time? Do we also gradually give up a lot of good qualities of human natures: kindness, sincerety, trust, happiness, ... along our life paths, since the reality kept on stealing away our faith and our hope?

 

 

 

I really really missed high school, even with the time passed by, a lot memories has been faded, sometimes I even could not correctly name my classmates. But those 6 years always a cherished memory forever in my life. Some friendship may last forever, some may go with the wind. But I always feel warm by knowing a little updates of my old friends either from themselves or from someone else. For most of my high school friends, our life may just like two parrel lines, and won't cross again. People come and go, some give your companion for a period of time, but very few will last forever in your life. The most important, we met and we were happy together - memories are sweet enough to fill our heart to believe life is beautiful and to streghen our faith in darkness.

 

I forgot a lot of teachers' names already, but every picture just brought me some memories of each subject that I learnt during my high school, the nick names our naughty kids granted to our dear teachers. Too many things, you can't and you don't have to express in language. Just let the memories flow tonight!   

除夕夜，决定要给自己一些家的感觉，于是在家里大喊，I will cook for you，突然想起，似乎还不知道团年饭是应该吃什么的。在Ｂｏｂ一轮狂轰乱炸的问题得不到满意答案后，Ｂｏｂ决定自己谱写菜单，然后由ＢＢ飞同学主厨。ＢＢ飞同学继续发扬她没有最慢只有更慢的优良传统，６：３０ｐｍ才提着ｇｒｏｃｅｒｙ不紧不慢地进门，然后开口第一句，How should I steam chicken．Joanna看到ＢＢ飞同学在厨房忙碌一刻钟未果后，深忧自己的晚餐大计，于是慷慨解囊ｏｆｆｅｒ　ｈｅｌｐ，于是乎厨房里鸡飞狗跳，呼呼喝喝，好不容易把材料准备齐全。终于轮到ＢＢ飞大厨闪亮登场的时候，结果拿着锅铲的ＢＢ飞再接再厉，语不惊人死不休，What should I put first? Bob终于按耐不住心中的极度郁闷，大喊，Fei, if you offer to cook, you want to give us a relaxed moment. Next time can you say we cook together。于是又是一通折腾，绝对不失礼的ＢＢ飞，８：００ｐｍ前准时开菜，开菜不开饭是因为上菜前一刻才想起忘记煮饭。That's my 团圆饭，with my best landlord, who I always feel happy with and who I always get supports from.

 

从小就很羡慕其他同学说去婆婆家，奶奶家，因为我的婆婆奶奶都住得离我很远，总是因为这个或那个的原因，两三年才会匆匆忙忙地见上一面。曾经觉得将来无论如何，我都不要两三年才见父母一次。亲人的感觉是一种习惯，太久不见就会淡忘，一家人不应该淡忘。可是，很不幸，我又再次掉进同样一种的循环。

 

曾经觉得瑞士是我的dream country，曾经决定在难道签证后第一要去的aboard trip就是那里，但是后来收到一个客户从瑞士寄来的日历，突然有一种恐慌，想一辈子都不要去那里，让dream永远都是完美的。今天看到瓜瓜的苏格兰相片，感叹也许我的dream应该在苏格兰吧，但再想，也许美好不仅仅来自景物本身，更来自你看它的角度吧。

 

最近的我很好！希望你们都好！Happy New Year!

看了好多朋友的blog about goodbye to 2008，突然觉得是否也应该写些什么。

 

2008是否值得记忆我不知道，毕业，找工作，工作，搬家，开始新的生活。一个平凡毕业生所走的路，笑过，哭过，希望过，失望过，所有的细节和点滴，只有自己能够回忆和珍藏。日子就在匆匆忙忙间，在不经意地蹙眉间，在满足的欢笑中平静地流过。朋友越来越少，生活得越来越自我，在自己的世界中似乎除了平静还是平静，想不起谁，也不需要想起谁，自己就是自己生活的主角。享用每一顿丰盛的晚餐都是一天中最满足的时刻。房东经常amazed by我对making一个人的dinner孜孜以求的态度，也许他们太早就有了家庭，一直生活在自己的国家，所以不能明白我这种 I need to take care of myself 的心情。或许更简单一点，我就是有着好食的情结。

 

工作就像闭着眼睛搭乘roller coaster，不同的是这个coaster不佩安全带。在现实生活中我是不玩roller coaster的人，但在工作中我别无选择。目前我还在游戏中。无论如何我感激自己的工作让我有了衣食无忧的生活，尽管一切都不perfect。

 

感激GOD在这一年里带给我的平静，尽管孤单，但是我已经满足。对于未来的一年，相信平静不会是生活的永恒，need to prepare myself for any changes, and will pray for the peacefulness during all the alternations.

 

Good Luck in 2009！

 

 

 

 

just keep in mind that you have many good friends, and it just happens that all of them have different characters and you just cannot treat them the same.

Layoff似乎已经是美国当前最fashion的词汇了。偶的小公司也面临bankrupt的危机，上周五layoff了两个人，占公司所有员工的1/3，因为没有项目，老板已经给所有人打预防针了。刚刚上班，又有visa问题的bb飞同学自然是紧张到极点，虽然暂时layoff的不是我，但是周五却被同事频频询问are you ok？虽然我也不觉得自己怎么abnormal，但是所有人都觉得我abnormal了。知道公司方向变向后，第一个发了邮件给nead nead，虽然知道即使写邮件也不能改变什么，但是还是想让自己最好的朋友第一时间知道自己的update。晚上和jiahui一家人去吃饭，因为真的不想回家，虽然知道回到家房东一家会安慰我，但是想到他们也在找工作的水深火热中，就不想把这种话题带回家。吃饭的过程中我出奇大方地出去跳舞，我也觉得自己abnormal了。

 

晚上免不了回家和妈妈哭一通，毕竟和朋友一起只是为了转移自己的注意力，短暂地卸下烦恼，但是治标不治本。妈妈同学非常坚决地要求bb飞回国，if丢了工作，并开出妈妈可以养你的大offer。有了妈妈的大offer，自然没有之前那么忐忑不安，毕竟不会没有饭吃了。幸好电话卡及时没钱，才结束了这段凌晨三点的通话。

 

周六bb飞同学拿出封尘一年多的makeup，把自己抹了一通出门，想着给自己一个好心情。谁知道情况更糟糕，首先手机坏了。接着park车的时候把别人的车擦了，虽然没人看到，但是还是很厚道地留下了自己的电话。虽然知道这样意味着会没掉几百到一千多刀，但是还是得过自己良心这关。

 

接着今天见到xuri同学，听了一段他老人家的故事，觉得自己还是比较幸福的，毕竟妈妈说她养我嘛。然后再遇到FIFI同学，说出一段有关happy和layoff的极其精辟的philosophy，再加上landlord今晚cook的龙虾大餐，bb飞觉得生活还不至于黑暗，目前只是灰暗而以。

 

接着怎么办？bb飞实在不知道，虽然讨厌听到jiahui同学那段“中途改方向是很难”的言论，不过不得不承认他老人家是对的。But anyway，I will pray for the peace and courage to walk through this period, and I will try to be as strong as I can to support myself. Good luck!